"Just went to your seminar today at Scripps Mende and LOVED IT! You confirmed so many of my suspicions regarding her fussiness and general unhappiness. My daughter is turning 13 weeks tomorrow and she has been quite the handful! Terribly fussy since day one. Although colic,
reflux, and difficulties with breastfeeding have all been challenges, I generally believe that she is very overtired. I find her to be incredibly sensitive to overstimulation and believe that she has great difficult shutting out the world. Fortunately, we've become more and more attuned to her needs- No easy process! (I so related to your early experience with Maddie- nursing her repeatedly when she in fact was tired. This was so the case for me and my daughter).

At this point she is sleeping beautifully through the night. Generally going down between 7:30-8:00 and either waking at 7:00 or so OR waking briefly for nursing at 4-5 a.m. and then returning to sleep until 8 or 9 a.m. However, getting her to sleep is a battle. We have created the monster ritual of doing squats with her to calm her. Was the only thing that worked in the early days when screaming for extended periods of time ruled our world. Like you said in the seminar, short-term and long-term consequences with every decision right? When in survival mode and trying to maintain sanity, you do anything just to bring sleep on...even at the price of creating a bad habit, I suppose.

In any case, every evening now requires this as she is tremendously upset and uhappy. Even when I believe we are catching her in the window. She bellows and cries inconsolably for upwards of an hour while we do squats and pat and rub and try to hang on until finally sleep takes over. However, we also put her down asleep most nights... She has had some success in fussing herself down once placed in the crib, but never when she is actually "crying". I can't handle the cry it out yet... However, I want her to have the ability to self-soothe.

So- first question: Is this just pure overtiredness rearing its head at the end of the day when she cries and cries in our arms until finally going to sleep? Being a sensory sensitive baby, could she simply need this release in order to calm her nervous system?

Second question: Nap time is frustration time. Still relies heavily on
movement in order to fall asleep- Having her in the sling works best. She'll fall asleep in the car (and sometimes stay down even after we've stopped and moved her inside). I've been trying to put her down during the day but it is a nasty battle. She fusses immediately and escalates quickly. I believe she is a baby that only continues to escalate herself right out of sleep all together. I have tried to let her cry for upwards of 15 minutes and going in every few to comfort her, but this only causes her to be more and more upset with me. The big challenge is that I continue to do this dance - bounce her calm, place her down, screams for me, comfort and bounce her again, place her down, screams and screams, etc- And then before I know it, 45 minutes have passed and I know we are out of the window for sleep until the next cycle comes along. It seems then my whole day has been spent trying to get her to sleep. I know I can get longer naps if I wear her, lay down with her, etc. But I know this is only a temporary solution. Just today I saw my windows open up every 90 minutes. However, after fighting it for so long, I guess I have to just wait until the next cycle and try again?

Again, THANK YOU warmly for today. Already reading your book. You validated so much and I am already feeling much more confident and positive about being able to read her cues and respond to her needs."

Warmly,

- Brie, San Diego

Hi, Brie!
I'm so glad your daughter is sleeping so well at night!
Usually when I hear about babies like your daughter (and I have heard this description more than once!), sleeping well at night is NOT part of the picture.
So you can count yourself lucky on that score.
It's hard for me to know whether or not she's truly getting enough sleep during the day.
She may indeed be overtired due to not getting enough daytime naps, as you suspect.
Have you tried filling out a sleep diary?
My first bit of advice is to dedicate yourself to seeing how much naptime you get for her.
Even if that means wearing your baby for three straight days, if that's the only way she gets a good 2-hr nap (or more) at each naptime, do that.
At least, this is what I would do if she were my daughter.
Next, I wouldn't worry about training on self-soothing just yet.
For one thing, you've got some time, she's still pretty young.
For another, as she's a sensitive-to-overstimulation baby, attempts at crying it out in an overtired easily-overstimulated baby might backfire.
You will want to be very confident about when she's going to be sleepy before you trying crying it out, for your sake and for hers.
If you get a chance, let me know how it goes---
Polly